A few
months ago, I was in a pretty bad place. Looking back now, I think it was a
combination of post-summer blues, depression (that I have been dealing with for
years but only in the last few have I accepted and been treated for it), and
job frustration. I think that after the summer I had – traveling to London,
graduating with my MLS, wonderful vacation – it’s easy to suffer a little
letdown. Had that been the only factor, I would have dealt with my anger and
frustration far better than I did. That deflated feeling, coupled with the
other factors I mentioned, came together to create the perfect storm of mad.
This is
where Twitter comes in. When I first started Twitter, it was really nothing
more than an (semi)anonymous outlet for my frustrations and general snarky
comments. In the beginning I felt like I had to follow anyone who followed me
and respond to every mention. It was exciting when my follower count hit double
digits. I have learned some things about Twitter, a few years and 10K+ tweets
later. I don’t have to follow everyone who follows me (but I’m definitely more
likely to follow back if you INTERACT with me), and I still think it’s important to reply
to every mention. One thing I began to notice is that as my follower count
grew, and I met and interacted with so many amazing, intelligent and intriguing
people (many of them librarians), my tweets began to change. I became a bit
more guarded, swore A LOT less, and became a bit more neutral in things I put
out there. Sometimes however, my old Twitter comes out, and in frustration,
I will lash out and complain. Being generally unhappy and frustrated a few
months back was a perfect invitation for that old Twitter persona to emerge,
and emerge it did.
Here’s
the thing: I don’t know everyone who follows me (duh!) If someone I actually
*know* in person and talk to on a regular basis follows me, I kind of expect
them to interact with me or at least let me know. When they don’t, it’s kind of
strange and almost feels like spying – which is odd, because I am really not
that interesting! Am I sorry about the things I say? 95% of the time the answer
is no. I am a passionate person, and sometimes I speak before I think. That
does not mean I did not have a reason to say what I said. Am I sorry if I
offended you with something I said? 95% of the time that answer is yes. If you
tweeted me and called me out on it, I could explain. It may take more than 140
characters, but at least I would know where I stand, and so would you.
Social
media is an interesting beast. Until recently I have NEVER thought I have said
or posted anything online that would hurt or hinder me in my professional life.
I bet a lot of you don’t think you have either, but I bet you are wrong. You
just don’t know it. The funny thing is, once it’s done and out there you can’t
take it back. You can delete the offensive tweet, but deleting it won’t make it
unread. What is devastating is that the person who gets offended may be one
that you really respect. One that now, thanks to something you fired off in
haste or anger, has a new (and possibly unflattering) image of you. That is a
hard thing to change.
I do not
want to say that my emotions or illness is an excuse for posting things that
may be offensive. I consider myself to be pretty loud, somewhat crass, and
snarky. I do not want to change that because I am on social media. It is part of
me and to be honest, it is pretty hard not to show that part. On the other hand, I also pride myself on
being a professional and acting like one. A few months ago I was feeling really trapped
and stagnant, and for me, stagnation leads to frustration. I was lost and more
than a little angry. This caused me to lose sight of the professional I am, and
I truly regret that. I hope I can pick the pieces back up. I hope that not all
damage is permanent. I also know that how you present yourself on social media
is important. I just need to act like I know that.
For more reading on being a professional (and
acting like one!) on social media, check out this wonderful post by Virginia Alexander over at the amazing Letters to a Young Librarian Blog. You can find her
on Twitter at @sketchlibrarian.
