Confessions, Frustrations, and Twitter

A few months ago, I was in a pretty bad place. Looking back now, I think it was a combination of post-summer blues, depression (that I have been dealing with for years but only in the last few have I accepted and been treated for it), and job frustration. I think that after the summer I had – traveling to London, graduating with my MLS, wonderful vacation – it’s easy to suffer a little letdown. Had that been the only factor, I would have dealt with my anger and frustration far better than I did. That deflated feeling, coupled with the other factors I mentioned, came together to create the perfect storm of mad.

               

This is where Twitter comes in. When I first started Twitter, it was really nothing more than an (semi)anonymous outlet for my frustrations and general snarky comments. In the beginning I felt like I had to follow anyone who followed me and respond to every mention. It was exciting when my follower count hit double digits. I have learned some things about Twitter, a few years and 10K+ tweets later. I don’t have to follow everyone who follows me (but I’m definitely more likely to follow back if you INTERACT with me), and I still think it’s important to reply to every mention. One thing I began to notice is that as my follower count grew, and I met and interacted with so many amazing, intelligent and intriguing people (many of them librarians), my tweets began to change. I became a bit more guarded, swore A LOT less, and became a bit more neutral in things I put out there. Sometimes however, my old Twitter comes out, and in frustration, I will lash out and complain. Being generally unhappy and frustrated a few months back was a perfect invitation for that old Twitter persona to emerge, and emerge it did.

               

Here’s the thing: I don’t know everyone who follows me (duh!) If someone I actually *know* in person and talk to on a regular basis follows me, I kind of expect them to interact with me or at least let me know. When they don’t, it’s kind of strange and almost feels like spying – which is odd, because I am really not that interesting! Am I sorry about the things I say? 95% of the time the answer is no. I am a passionate person, and sometimes I speak before I think. That does not mean I did not have a reason to say what I said. Am I sorry if I offended you with something I said? 95% of the time that answer is yes. If you tweeted me and called me out on it, I could explain. It may take more than 140 characters, but at least I would know where I stand, and so would you.

               

Social media is an interesting beast. Until recently I have NEVER thought I have said or posted anything online that would hurt or hinder me in my professional life. I bet a lot of you don’t think you have either, but I bet you are wrong. You just don’t know it. The funny thing is, once it’s done and out there you can’t take it back. You can delete the offensive tweet, but deleting it won’t make it unread. What is devastating is that the person who gets offended may be one that you really respect. One that now, thanks to something you fired off in haste or anger, has a new (and possibly unflattering) image of you. That is a hard thing to change.

               

I do not want to say that my emotions or illness is an excuse for posting things that may be offensive. I consider myself to be pretty loud, somewhat crass, and snarky. I do not want to change that because I am on social media. It is part of me and to be honest, it is pretty hard not to show that part. On the other hand, I also pride myself on being a professional and acting like one. A few months ago I was feeling really trapped and stagnant, and for me, stagnation leads to frustration. I was lost and more than a little angry. This caused me to lose sight of the professional I am, and I truly regret that. I hope I can pick the pieces back up. I hope that not all damage is permanent. I also know that how you present yourself on social media is important. I just need to act like I know that. 

For more reading on being a professional (and acting like one!) on social media, check out this wonderful post by Virginia Alexander over at the amazing Letters to a Young Librarian Blog. You can find her on Twitter at @sketchlibrarian. 

Life Going On

“Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I have decided to transition from my other blog (The Alternate Lens: Librarian in London), which is very specific, to this blog, which is a lot more open ended. This blog has been taunting me every time I opened blogger to post to The Alternate Lens. “No posts! Start blogging!” Okay, Blogger! I get it! I’ll blog! See, this blog has been sitting dormant for almost two years. When I started library school two years ago, we were strongly encouraged to get a larger online presence. Join Twitter! Start a blog! Well, Twitter grabbed me instantly and I’ve loved it ever since, making some really great library connections. The blogging was harder to come by. I have always loved to write and blogging from London and talking about my experiences and photography really reawakened that for me. I won’t be blogging EVERY DAY like I did from London because let’s face it, that would get really obnoxious. I hope to share my thoughts on life in general, my adventures as a new librarian, and the information that inspires me.

Things have definitely been changing in the life in general category. These changes have essentially spilled over to my library life and my pursuit of information. I've been home from London a little over four weeks now, and a lot has happened. I miss London terribly. I knew I loved it, but I didn't realize just how much until I had been home for a while. I love home, but I cannot wait to go back to London and revisit my favorite places as well as discover the ones I didn't make it to.

On to other changes… I graduated! Yay! I graduated with my Master of Library Science degree just over a week ago. It’s been two years of very hard work that are kind of a blur when I think about it. I suppose I can call myself a bonafide librarian now. It is now on to job hunting (THAT is another post all together). Along with graduation, work has changed for me a bit. I am currently working as a page at a public library, a position that I love. Unfortunately I brought a rotator cuff injury back with me from London, so shelving books has been impossible, so says the doctor. Since I’m not able to shelve, I've been able to work on some other research projects for our library board. These projects have been a lot of fun for me and they've really made me think about what I want my library career to be. We will see if I can make those ideas into reality. Here’s hoping those changes are on the horizon somewhere as well!